Years ago I remember my teacher, Karta Singh, saying to me, 'How you do one thing is how you do all things.' It rang true to me and I've been using it in my own teachings to help people recognise the patterns in their life, see the repeating situations, and move beyond the painfully recurring problems. I paid attention and did my best to implement it beyond simple awareness in my daily life too.
Last week I was listening to a podcast with Tim Ferriss and Tara Brach. In case you don't know these two awesome people, Tim is the author of Four Hour Work Week, which catapulted him to fame, and into a realm of championing learning as lifestyle, and deeply courageous personal development. Tara Brach is one of the world's leading meditation and mindfulness teachers.
I was touched, tickled and humbled to hear her story of how, as a law graduate, Tara chose to give up the corporate path and enter an ashram. As a Type A personality (highly driven, high achiever, confident - what we would refer to in Ayurveda as a strong Pitta type), I resonated strongly with her. She had renounced the pressured world of corporate law, and yet felt she had to meditate 'better' than everyone else, getting up at 2.30 rather than 3.30 to fast-track her way to enlightenment... Yes, all of that was deeply familiar to me....
This conundrum lies at the heart of all true spiritual striving - we don't make the crucial transformation by changing career, location, partner, or anything else that we do or identify with. Crucial transformation comes in the 'how' we do everything - the way that we think, our attitude, the quality of our heart energy, our presence - and the impact that has on the way we do things, all things.
One of the most excitingly real examples I have come across of this is Michael Singer, and his incredible journey which he describes in his book The Surrender Experiment. His entire life is about the 'how' - his choice was to live in a forest and meditate, but life brought different challenges to his path, including ultimately founding and growing a multi-billion dollar software company, and then being investigated (and cleared) for fraud by the FBI. You would think that his lifestyle would take him as far from the meditative, spiritual path as can be imagined. Instead, he recognises that the true way is to incorporate the spiritual heart and mind (acceptance, love, forgiveness, mindfulness) into daily life, no matter what we are doing. The 'how' over the 'what'.
Since I arrived on La Palma three weeks ago, I have been trying to find balance in the need to get organised and settled, and also to make time for rest, stillness, reflection, especially after such a challenging, turbulent six months. I've been spending a lot of time hiking in the mountains and have found that the peace, the embrace of the ancient forest, brings me calm.
I have also recognised the Pitta-esque drive in me for 'always more' is still present, ironically even in my quest for peace and grounding in nature. I can enjoy the grounding and physical challenge of the climb, the breathlessness, the sweat of a stunningly beautiful climb and descent one day, yet the very next day feel that I need to go further, explore beyond the next corner, reach the next peak. Or burn more calories, or put in more altitude according to my new Garmin.
I need to catch the drive for 'more' or 'better' and connect to the 'enough' of the moment - and turn around, go home and relax.
I made this realisation as I lay in bed on Saturday morning and realised there was no way I could climb the mountain. In fact there was no way I could get out of bed, let alone go hiking with Max. I was completely and utterly exhausted. Sunday too. I thought of Tara Brach with her determination to get enlightened as fast as possible, and giggled to myself. Yup, guilty as charged. I was looking to get relaxed and grounded as fast as possible. To prove to myself and all who know me that I can transition from one life to another and flourish and thrive faster than anyone else.
But it turns out I am human after all ;-) And I'm still on this life-long learning path of finding balance and humility. Listening for the signs of what is enough, and to respect them in the moment - rather than my default of pushing until I fall over, as happened this weekend, and has happened way too many times in the past for me to count. Because the way I do one thing, is the way I do all things. Even settling in.
Something in me resists the discipline of blocking time in my calendar for down-time. But maybe that is what I need to do so that I can learn to rest before the burn-out hits. To get in touch with the more subtle signs of tiredness before they turn to exhaustion. To honour myself with a pause between each task, to exhale before I inhale once more.
If you recognise any of this, I really invite you to click on the podcast and websites of Tim and Tara above and also to read The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. For sure you will be inspired. I guess the really interesting part though, is whether you will be able to shift from being a 'what'-person, to a 'how'-person, from 'more' to 'enough' too...
I'd love to hear your perspective on this, let's experiment together!
With love and a generous dose of humility,
Sara
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Thank you for following me and my journey, as I adventure through the inner and outer worlds of life!