As some of you know, I'm fasting. A yogic fast of conscious and restricted eating, to lighten the load on my system and enable a more meditative state to help me process some of life's lessons that I'm facing right now.
Well, the first hard lesson of my fast came this week, and it was horrible! After a tough, long day, with difficult communication with a friend, and my stress levels going well beyond the 'positive, healthy stimulus' threshold, I sat down in front of a DVD on my laptop (I don't have a TV) and, because I'd already burned my rice and mung beans due to rushing around and trying to do too many things at once, decided that organic rice cakes, my homemade almond butter and apple slices would do. So far, nothing too dramatic. But...
What I SHOULD HAVE done…. gone for a swim or even just a quick dip in my pool, done a meditation and THEN sat, and eaten consciously without the DVD.
I should have done THIS….
… and then THIS
What I ACTUALLY did (well the rice cakes, almond butter and apple version of this!
What I ACTUALLY DID…. flopped straight on to my sofa in a bad mood, negative energy coursing through my body, switched the DVD on and totally STUFFED MY FACE with rice cakes, almond butter and apple! I ate so much it started to hurt on the way down (did you ever try to eat almond butter too quickly? it sticks to your oesophagus and feels a bit like the pain when you eat ice-cream to fast - you can try it, but I don't recommend it!), went to bed feeling totally nauseous and suffered from stomach ache from trying to digest all that anger and negativity that I'd gulped down in a totally REACTIVE RESPONSE to my mood!
Well, the good thing about all of this fasting nonsense is that if I did it perfectly every time, there'd be nothing to learn.
And boy, did I learn a LOT! The pain and discomfort in my already challenged intestines (I have ulcerative colitis, more on that another time) over 36 hours was a constant reminder of how unconscious I had been in my eating and how hard it is to digest food when we have negative emotions attached to them. Since then I'm back on course with my fast, keep it light and simple and eating early so I have more or less finished digesting by the time I go to bed. Lesson learned… for now :-) A good one for me to see, and if you recognise this in your behaviour or have something similar you'd like to share, feel free to drop by and comment in the box below or on Facebook.
Oh, one more thing before I go… there's a special offer for all my DYD newsletter subscribers on MONDAY, so if you're not signed up to receive my regular email updates, just scroll over to the right a bit, and there you have it…. a sign-up box, just for you :-) Remember, it goes out on Monday, so I hope I'll be seeing you again then, have a great weekend,
With love
Sara xxxx