There's one ocean... Let's all meet there

I sat down yesterday morning and started drafting this week's Muse... I wanted to respond to all the messages I'd received from last week's Muse about vaccination. My intention was to honour and share my condolences and compassion for all the suffering that you shared. I wanted to say thank you for all your wisdom, all your sources of information, from all sides of the vaccination argument, over the past week. I wanted to thank you all for being so passioned and engaged. Please consider all of that said, and more. 

Because then something simple but so monumental happened, that I was swept up into a different world, ‘beyond’, as Rumi said, 'rightdoing and wrongdoing', and into a world of wonder and oneness.

In the midst of writing, I took a break for lunch and went for a swim. I received SUCH a blessing from the ocean that I just want to share this with you, as it touched me so deeply, and I feel it had a message for me, and possibly for all of us.

Towards the end of my 40-minute swim around the bay, still in the blue, I was approaching the reef, and from the corner of my eye spotted something around one metre from the surface. Normally it's a floating plastic bag, which I stuff into my swimsuit and take with me to put in the trash.

But this time, it was a beautiful turtle. Sightings of turtles here are pretty rare, and when they happen they are fleeting. A few moments of acknowledging our differences, and then, whoosh, the turtle is off to places I cannot reach her.

Today, she decided to stay. She came in closer, as I hung on the surface, 'turtle-breathing' (I don't use a snorkel so I hold my breath and then bob my head up quickly for a breath before submerging again). I stayed motionless to not startle her. We stayed like that, arms and flippers outstretched for a good few minutes, just being, pure presence.

As she watched me, I felt her trust and confidence grow, and she then gently began to paddle her front flippers, in relaxed circles, as if beckoning me to join her. I don't need to be asked twice. I mimicked her paddling with my arms semi-extended from my sides, and off we went.

First a cruise further out into the blue, full of fascination and gratitude for this moment, aware - and almost expecting - that at any moment she could disappear. Then we hung a right back towards the bay, and cruised in a huge, lazy, generous loop towards the reef. Her ramora was dancing beneath her soft belly, shifting position, almost losing her as he detached to nibble at a tasty morsel of turtle poo, then with a panicky dart, chased and re-docked to his mother-ship.

There were snorkellers splashing around by the corals and I had a sense of dread that they would see her and disturb our moment of blissful connection. Maybe she sensed it too, and so we again curved round to the right, and headed back into the blue. On and on...

I checked my watch... I couldn't believe it. This beautiful lady had been hanging out with me now for almost 15 minutes! This wasn't coincidence, or projection. If a turtle isn't interested there is nothing you can do to prolong the interaction. This little lady was inviting me to swim with her, further and further.

How beautiful to be seen and accepted by this magnificent creature, to be so welcome in her world. Eye to eye, consciousness to consciousness, dancing, playing.

And the longer we spent together, the closer she came to me, the more relaxed her surface breaths became, as she bobbed her head through the surface and we made eye to eye contact for a moment in my world.

By this time I'd been in the water for well over an hour and was starting to feel a chill. My skin was getting goose pimples, as I wondered just how long this connection, this dance could last... I wanted it to go on forever....

But I also know that I am a visitor in the ocean, blessed to share a few moments, and that one of us would eventually say goodbye. I decided it would be me - I decided to choose to part, and savour the pleasure of watching her cruise gracefully into the blue.

So sure of herself in her realm, and yet so vulnerable. So graceful, yet with a form that is almost comical. At times while observing her she had morphed into a little fat, round angel, with the wizened head of an ancient woman, beating her wings gently to fly. I was truly in the presence of the divine.

And this moment spoke to me beyond the layers of right and wrong, good and bad... there is one ocean, one source of life force, one home : we are all one. If I were to be so bold as to change Rumi's poem just slightly, I would say:

Today I wish you a week full of presence, however that manifests for you.

To savour the tiny precious moments of simple peace and connection that all too often go by unacknowledged, without gratitude, in the rush of our busy-ness, the stress and pressure of our daily lives.

I wish for you to take time in nature and just observe, and listen for the messages and lessons she has to impart to us.

I wish for you to connect and share with loved ones, and strangers alike, and to see all that we have in common, beyond our opinions and differences,

With deep love and a huge one-ocean hug,

TO VACCINATE OR NOT.... ... That Is The Question

It's me, checking in for my weekly Muse... And this week I want to talk about the intense times we find ourselves in these days.

This pandemic is affecting us all in different ways, but I was really struck by the intense polarisation which is happening in society over the question of vaccination. It seems you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

So what choice do you make, and HOW to make your own personal decision among the deluge of 'expert' opinions, conspiracy theories (both for and against), fear and propaganda about all the dreadful things which will befall you no matter what choice you make? 

My way of coping with the confusion, intensity and polarisation is to not listen to either side. I have developed a strong and deep relationship with my body through coping with ulcerative colitis for nearly 20 years, my yoga and meditation practice, and of course my freediving.

I trust that, as long as I take care of my body, my body will take care of me. Some may call this naive, but it's what works for me, and actually it's grounded in science and evolutionary biology.

I'm here because my entire lineage of ancestors were SURVIVORS. Yours too... think about it. Millions and millions of people have not survived through the ages, and their genes did not get passed on - ours did. Our bodies have been learning to handle the onslaught of life in all its forms (bacteria, viruses, starvation, drought, big scary wild animals, shockingly evil humans) since forever, which means that each of us is at the peak of evolutionary wisdom, and should therefore be trusting our bodies more than ever before, and certainly much more deeply than most of us do.

The problem, as far as I'm concerned (and as my personal experience bears out), is that we have disconnected so deeply from this wisdom and come to rely upon the superficial quick-fixes of popping a pill, or clicking a button. We believe life is about instant gratification. However just as our bodies LEARN and GROW WISER when we continually feed them new nourishing or challenging information, when we dumb down our lifestyle, our bodies dumb down too. Adaptation happens in both directions. 

So, until the day that I absolutely HAVE to vaccinate, I will focus all of my energy and intention on developing my inner wisdom. Here are some ways you can join me on this path - as usual let me know how many you're already activating for your own wisdom evolution:

• daily meditation for stress relief : every dis-ease starts in the subtle realm of the unmanifest, so catch those negative thoughts before they have a chance to turn into something more physical

• plant-based diet : your microbiome builds your immunity, and plants build your microbiome

• asleep by 10am, for a solid eight hours each night : our bodies heal and repair best at night. Be asleep to allow that essential work to be done, it couldn't be simpler!

• daily barefoot walking : connection with nature in ANY way helps to reduce inflammation which in turn helps us stay healthy

• exercise (for me swimming or yoga) : increase your heart rate to keep all your body systems strong, in particular your digestive fire, which burns off waste and toxic matter which, if left to accumulate, can cause inflammation and chronic illness

• connection : we are wired for connection, it boosts our hormones and immunity so however that looks for you (taking restrictions and your personal beliefs into account) reach out, connect, support and be supported

Maybe you have a few ideas that are working for you - if so, please share.

And whichever way you choose to go on the great vaccination debate, I respect your personal choice. I hope you can respect mine, and that of those around you, even if it conflicts with yours. Remember that connection, rather than fighting, is one of our key ways to stay strong and healthy ;-)

Wishing you health, happiness, and loving acceptance during these polarising times - let's stay strong, together.

SETTING PRIORITIES : Are You Living In Alignment?

This week, some more musing on the Guidelines which contain my coaching community, and keep us anchored in the space of constant evolution and growth - without burn-out!

This week I want to ask you about you and your priorities? Do you consciously set priorities and then live in integrity with them, adjusting whenever necessary? Or do you prefer to live spontaneously, in the moment? 

Does the idea of being organised and disciplined around a set of clearly defined priorities seem like joyless living to you? Or is there a part of you that senses that some structure could take you out of your exhaustion, overwhelm and a feeling of constantly pushing rocks up mountains?

Let's take a step back - for example, if you have a dream of working smarter, so you earn more AND have more time for the things you love, you aren't going to get there without a clear vision, and being your best at least 90% of the time. 

So, before we can attain the big vision, we need to dig into - and prioritise - the aspects of our lives that enable us to thrive, have more energy, feel deeply rested, and function with a clear mind.

Do you really feel your most joyful and spontaneous when you're drained, or constantly tired? Can you really do your best work when you are suffering from chronic illness, inflammation or auto-immune dysfunction? Are you at your most loving, open and present when you mind is cloudy or overwhelmed?

If we want to live a really bright, vibrant and successful life, we need to lay the foundations of optimal wellbeing - and make these our first priorities. Otherwise we are wishing for a dream but sabotaging our chances of success every single day. 

So ask yourself...

• do my diet meal times ensure my digestive system functions optimally, and am I delivering the right amount and balance of nutrients to keep me fit?

• do I get enough good quality sleep, at the right time of the day, to ensure my body has time to do the vital inner work of healing and repairing to keep me strong and healthy?

• do I ensure I have the right balance of work, rest and play in my life to prevent burn-out, and keep my nervous system resilient and calm?

• do I make enough time for exercise, meditation and breathwork to ensure my energy levels and flow are supporting me throughout the day?

• do I show gratitude to, and honour my body for, all it does for me, by taking care of it with self-care practices and clean, chemical-free organic products?

To make this real, grade yourself on a scale on 1 to 10 on how close you are to the optimal for prioritising a life of thrive, 1 being far far from the optimal, and 10 being pretty damn hot!:

• My diet is 100% wholefood, organic, with a good balance of phytonutrients (plants), healthy fats, proteins, vitamins and minerals

• I eat my main meal of the day between 12-2pm, and have a last, light meal by 6pm, with no snacking afterwards

• I am in bed, asleep, before 10pm every night

• Every morning I make time for meditation or contemplation, and exercise, and ensure I am well hydrated

• I schedule down-time into my daily routine, with screens off by 8pm, and prioritise time in nature, and/or with loved ones every single day

Next write a list of all the things that you ACTUALLY spend your precious time doing - you might want to keep a time journal for the next week to get clear on where your time and energy really goes. 

Now get a blank sheet of paper, and draw out the Priority Grid above, and, with your vision in mind, and a better understanding of what you need to prioritise to ensure you get there, fill it in with the six key vitality priorities I've mentioned above (plus any more you need to add), and then add the things that you are actually doing with your time.

Hopefully this will enable you to bring into clear focus where you need to spend more time and energy, and what you can let go of as energy-drains and time-sucks.

As always, feel free to click on the list above to share your thoughts with me - you can also send me a screenshot of your completed Priority Grid at the end of the week. I look forward to hearing from you.

I hope this serves you in stepping into your power and getting closer to your goal. As well as bringing more joy and spontaneity into your life, through being deeply nourished, rested and balanced,

With infinite love,

DID YOU EVER GO 'ALL IN?' : What Does It Mean And How Does It Feel?

I'm curious to continue exploring the Guidelines that hold my community together. This week's Musing is the foundational Guideline:

BE ALL IN!

Have you ever been all in? Do you know what it really means? How does it look and feel in the real world? And in the container of a coaching community?

Research has shown that we stand an 80% better chance of longterm transformation when we work in a group, compared with one on one. However, those numbers drop drastically - for ourselves, and for those in our community - when we are not all in, not fully committed. We lose traction with what we wish to work on, because we allow ourselves to fall back into old habits, old excuses, old dynamics.

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

When we are all in, we constantly uphold ourselves and our peers to keep striving, keep doing their best. And it doesn't only make a massive difference in group coaching communities, it is crucial in all areas of our lives;

In relationships, we commit fully, giving and receiving trust, security, love and real connection, and allowing ourselves to be completely seen and vulnerable.

In our body we no longer compromise on the elements that keep us vibrant and healthy - we exercise, breathe deeply and ensure that what we put in and on our body is organic and nourishing.

In our work we show up and dig deep to deliver our best. 

So, over to you....

• Can you honestly say that you are All In in all areas of you life?

• In any areas of your life?

• Or do you prefer to hold something back, have one foot in, and one on familiar, well-trodden ground?

• Are you aware how your need for familiarity and security may be holding you back from expansion, growth, vibrant health, or deep, loving connection?

• What fears lie behind your resistance to being All In?

• How does your hesitation sabotage you?

• How does it sabotage your relationships?

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

In a world full of uncertainty, heart-break and change, being All In might just create the solid foundation we each need to keep moving forward, step by step, to create a future aligned with our dreams, 

With gratitude and compassion, 

Change, Discomfort, Growth - how do you handle change?

The feedback from last week's muse about Deep Listening was incredible - and very touching. From the mum making listening deeply to her child her number one priority, to the sound engineer who connected the significance of being 'heard' with the words 'heart' and 'earth'. Listening deeply - and being deeply heard - IS our heart connection and brings us into deeper connection with Mother Earth, our sacred home. 

You guys made me realise that there is a deep truth in the guidelines that hold and contain the work that I do, and support my members in my community to do. To each and every one of you who wrote back, your thoughts, insights and vulnerability was gratefully received and heard. Thank you.

So I want to continue to mine this deep seam of wisdom in our community guidelines, and based on my own personal journey, I want to look this week at change.

How do we handle change?
And how can we handle change better?

Firstly, I feel it's important to highlight that there are two different kinds of change; that which happens without our active or conscious participation; and that which we choose to initiate.

The first kind is change that 'just happens', it is the stuff of life, the nature of the universe : 

When change happens outside of us, for example, our partner leaves, or dies, we lose our job, we are diagnosed with an illness, we live through political and climate change, and even pandemics, we can often feel powerless and lost. We may fall into a period of 'victimhood', or powerlessness, wondering 'why me', and having no idea how to navigate this new situation.

The second kind is conscious, self-initiated change : 

I believe this comes from reaching a threshold of discomfort, a realisation that we are not living our best, not living in alignment with our values. We are no longer willing to accept the status quo, whether that is in our relationships, our health, our work, our living space... The pain of the present pushes us to design a different future for ourselves.

They may be different in their source, but I have learned one clear and consistent absolute truth about change and how to handle it, no matter where it comes from : 

CHANGE = DISCOMFORT

Either we allow the discomfort to shrink and control us, and diminish our capacity to act. 

Or we can choose to embrace and lean into the discomfort and recognise it as the container for our own growth.

In fact, I believe that the change beyond our control might be an essential precursor to us initiating conscious action. But whether we initiate conscious action is not a given.

This week I find myself in one of the most intense periods of change and 'letting go' since my mother died. Everything is happening at once, and the changes are coming so fast, layered one on top of the other, that most days I feel almost completely overwhelmed, as if I am functioning on some kind of auto-pilot until the storm has passed. 

But then I have moments of clarity. Moments when I realise that I have a choice in every single moment. To be a passive bystander, even victim to the events, or to recognise that I am a co-creator in all that manifests in my life. I have a choice to cling to the past and fear all that I am letting go of, or look to the future and the infinite field of pure potential that awaits me.

I have leaped into the unknown before and it served me beyond my expectations and dreams.

And so I do my best to choose not only to breathe, and trust and allow things to unfold moment by moment, but to recognise that the pain is an essential part of my own growth in this process.

To embrace the shadows that are emerging within me, which need to be healed in order for me to evolve.

To see the resistance that feels like it is guiding me to safety, and realise that precisely that which I am resisting, is the path I need to follow.

I need to dive into the shadows, the pain and resistance in order to flourish. 

The butterfly cannot be born without the immense struggle to free itself from the chrysalis. 

So this week....

• How do you relate to change that happens around and outside of you?

• What coping mechanisms do you have? What practices keep you steady and grounded when the world is in flux?

• At what moment do you choose to self-initiate change?

• What are you no longer to accept right now?

• What change are you putting off?

• What are your discomfort and resistance trying to show you? Are you ready to listen?

Click here to share your thoughts with me.

Thank you all for being here, for sharing this space with me. I look forward to connecting with you this week on change,  discomfort and growth, and hopefully guiding you into your resistance, towards your evolution to find your flourish despite - or because of - the discomfort of change,

With love