DEEP LISTENING : What Does This Mean To You?

If you've been reading these weekly musings, you'll know that last year I joined a community which is all about personal development, community and thriving. We have a set of guidelines which help us to stay on track and go beyond our own - highly creative and varied - self-sabotage tendencies regarding growth. 

Last week was one of the hardest I've had for a long time, but on Friday, I joined a live call with some members of my community to discuss one of the guidelines : Deep Listening. And I was astounded how rich, connecting and healing the conversation turned out to be.

We uncovered some really profound and often over-looked applications of deep listening, and realised just how important it is, on so many levels.

Deep Listening is:

- a gift we give ourselves and our loved ones, colleagues and friends to really hear them. Without judgement, without filters, without projection. Without comparing their story with ours, without needing to fix them or offer solutions. Only with deep listening can we really see and understand each other, and thereby make intimate and meaningful connections with each other to grow, support and be supported, and move past conflict and difficult times

- a way that we honour our own truth moment by moment, by listening to the signals we receive from our physical, emotional and energetic bodies. When we ignore pain, discomfort, tiredness, overwhelm, we move further away from ease, and further into dis-ease. We owe it to ourselves to listen, honour and respect the messages our body is sending us all the time

- a reconnection with our own inner wisdom, our intuition. We often 'know' things but ignore the impulse, or take the opposite path. We have been trained out of intuitive living, to only follow that which is seen and tangible. But our intuition is more than a sixth sense, it is our connection to the Universe, to all the wisdom that has ever existed and ever will exist, the Akasha. When we don't listen to our intuition, we ignore our own deeper truth, our inner wisdom and our authentic path

What does deep listening mean to you? Are you aware how it feels when you are not heard? Are you able to consciously listen to others to honour them in this sacred way? Click here to share your thoughts with me... I'd love to know, 

Wishing you a week blessed with deep listening, deep connection and deep love, 

Sara

What do you need right now? Needs versus wants ... Getting clear...

Before I begin this week's Muse I want to thank all of those who reached out in response to my Muse last week. As we all know, the issue of abuse of power goes far beyond women and yoga, and I'm so grateful to all of you who wrote to tell me your stories, or how my story had touched you.  

This week I want to talk about something else that has resonated strongly within this DYD community recently - the number of people who are suffering from very real exhaustion, fatigue, depletion, or depression and are unable to shift out of this mode.

Society is all about goals, constantly striving towards something greater, achieving something more meaningful. The is a low-level incessant background hum of 'what are we working towards, how are we improving ourselves this week, what have we learned, or in what ways are we growing?'  We receive these subliminal messages from the world around us and get caught up in the excitement and pressure of 'better and more'. Or are afraid of not keeping up, of missing out, or not being good enough as we are.

As part of nature, we humans need to recognise the cycles of expansion, contraction, letting go, and rest. We see this in the seasons, but modern society keeps us stuck in a constant 'summer' - the strong, extroverted, yang energy of accumulation, activity and success.

Right now, as we enter spring, we are in a period of renewal. There is growth, but it is young, sensitive, tender and tentative. It is the season before the abundance and ripeness of summer. For our ancient ancestors it was a time of extreme hardship as winter stores dwindled to almost nothing, but the promise of new growth provided optimism and hope. 

Our bodies are programmed to the seasonal changes, and spring is the perfect time to reflect on our own renewal. What do you really NEED right now, rather than WANT?

For some of us it genuinely might be another qualification, or training for a big sporting event

But for many of us, the need will be deep replenishment and rest. And this takes time and commitment. And patience.

My needs recently made themselves startlingly clear as I woke up one morning 11 days ago with a clear need to not eat. I started fasting - a minimum of three days, with a commitment to simply follow my body's wisdom. I drank water, herbal infusions and fresh juices. I broke the fast yesterday on day 10, and feel so much better. 

It wasn't about weight loss (although that's certainly a welcome side effect). It was about creating space physically, energetically and emotionally for myself. I experienced some new and interesting things during this fast:

• I found myself naturally not wanting to watch movies and series in the evening

• this was replaced by hot baths with epsom salts and lavender oil, and early nights - lights out by 9.30 every night (sometimes earlier) and asleep by 10pm

• reading only inspiring and nourishing books, and journalling before lights out

• during Yoga Nidra I felt easily transported to other realms of consciousness where I found great insight, rest and healing

• during an Ayurvedic face massage my whole body was glowing from the effects afterwards

• time slowed down and I naturally felt myself drawn inwards towards myself to process emotions I had been resisting

• over the past few days I have been waking well before my alarm feeling rested

• and today I even had the impulse to go for a short run on the beach during dog walking time - a barefoot trot in the sand that left me energised and excited

I'm not saying that everyone should fast (if you have severe depletion, a heavy job or an eating disorder it might be counterproductive or unsafe). But spring is the natural time when our bodies really relish the quietness of fasting.

However, I am saying that everyone should get in touch with their own needs. Get conscious of how your wants are pulling you away from your own deeper nourishment. Whether that is sleep, better nutrition, fasting, movement, time, stillness, nature... only you can know that. 

I followed my intuition on my fast and it guided me gently and lovingly to do what I really needed, without resistance or forcing. It even surprised me on some things.

Set some time aside this week, first to get in touch with your deeper needs, and then to show yourself some love by honouring them.

Ask yourself the same questions that the pressures of the modern world frames you with - but reflect them inwards on your health, your nourishment, what your body, mind and spirit truly NEED:

'what am I working towards, how am I improving myself this week, what have I learned, or in what ways am I growing?'

If you're exhausted, depleted, fatigued or depressed, before you consider fasting, consider these three important points:

• increase the quality of your nutrition - what can you ADD IN that will boost the nutritional value of your meals, BEFORE you start taking out. Then slowly work to reduce intake of toxins such as sugar, caffeine, processed and GM foods, before doing a short fast

• increase your amount and quality of sleep. For you, a bedtime of 9pm, or even 8pm is necessary to ensure you get enough rest and give your body the crucial time it needs to rebuild and regenerate from whatever stress it has experienced, Naps are sacred

• movement should be gentle and NEVER take you even close to your 'red zone' of tiredness. Easy walks, restorative or yin yoga, playful swims. Your focus should be on meditation and pranayama

I'd love to hear what your body is telling you it needs at this time of year. 

If you're not clear what your deeper needs might be right now, I invite you to complete my Deep Dive Quiz online, and then sign up for a one-hour no-commitment FREE Discovery Call where I will help you identify the first steps you need to restore your energy, health and vitality so you can reach your potential without burn-out. 

Get clear with my Deep Dive Quiz

My Awakened Potential programme is a year-long supported coaching journey offering you just that. If you think you could benefit from my guidance and support with twice-weekly calls, monthly one to ones, an awesome community to learn alongside and to keep you accountable, get in touch, We start in May.

I'd also love to invite you to join the deeply relaxing and replenishing Yoga Nidra workshop that I am hosting with Nirlipta Tuli, an incredible master in this lineage (and I don't say that lightly).

I was lucky enough to join his Nidra, Neuroplasticity, Mind & Brain workshop on day 2 of my fast (always the hardest) and it enabled me to give myself the rest my body needed and to completely S - T - O - P . . . . . And that set the energy for the next 8 days of juice fasting in ease. What a blessing.

Get a deep refresh with Yoga Nidra

I find his work so important that I want to introduce him to you all - I really hope you can join us (just £54 for a 3-hour immersion experience, including lifetime access to the recordings). 

If you want to know more about fasting and what to do, and what not to do, I'll be Musing on that next week. Send me your fasting questions via email or post in my Facebook page so I can get specific in helping you this season.

If you have the time this coming weekend to give yourself a mini-retreat at home, switch off your phone, and tune into your inner wisdom, simplifying and reducing your meals to make space for meditation and contemplation, it will really support you in making the most of this transition into spring. 

I'm here if you want or need to share, and if you want or need to talk, I'm just a Deep Dive Quiz away... 

I send you love and wish you deep nourishment on all levels, 

Activism as Healing

Yoga Is A Sacred Place For Healing And Growth, Abuse Of Any Kind Will NOT Be Tolerated

It's been quite a week for me. There's a lot going on in the world and this week I really felt that a lot of it came home to me. To reflect, and to act. 

For the last few weeks I've been musing (and grieving) about womens' rights and the injustices which have been perpetrated against us for centuries. 

Since last January I've been directly confronted by this. Yogi Bhajan, the founder of Kundalini Yoga, the lineage through which I trained, the lineage which has brought me so much healing, and which I have joyfully and passionately been sharing for almost 20 years, guiding many, many others to their own healing, was accused of sexual abuse. Not by one woman, but by many many. 

This brought me into massive conflict. I know these teachings work. In some way I am a representative of the lineage. But in no way do I support or condone abuse of anyone in any situation.

I grounded myself in 'trust the teachings, not the teacher'. To trust that my healing was authentic, that my teaching has impact, but to remember that it is not me, but the energy that the practices activate, that creates the healing. 

But this week, when planning the Nidra, Neuroplasticity, Mind & Brain workshop with Nirlipta Tuli for you all, I was contacted by his wife, Uma, founder of Yoni Shakti, who I have been following for many years. In fact it is through her that I have found faith and understanding in my need for more nourishing practices, to honour my feminine energy, and my cycles, monthly and lifetime. 

In response to the shocking increase of reports of abuse of women within the yoga world, Uma started a campaign to promote yoga as a safe place of healing for all women and girls - Yoni Shakti - The Movement.

Uma was concerned that I had trained with a perpetrator. And that I hadn't made a public statement to distance myself from his behaviour.

This shocked me deeply. I felt that I was being tarnished with the same brush as a sexual predator. Not only that, but who else was seeing me in that light following the exposure of Yogi Bhajan's dark past?

I called my authenticity and trust-worthiness as a teacher into question. I felt judged, without being truly seen. But I was also conscious of old patterns surfacing - hierarchical issues of not being good enough, feeling shamed.

I reached out to women I know I can trust to deeply listen, hear me, and also step up to tell me the truth, beyond my projections. They helped me see there was no judgement, just an apparent conflict of values. There was validity in what I was feeling, but also in Uma and Nirlipta's need for absolute integrity and clarity from any people they work with. 

And then a few days later I came across a live session that another inspiring woman that I follow, Tara Mohr, had shared, on guilt - misplaced and valid - apologies, and activism as healing. 

This was the blessed missing piece of the puzzle. To heal my conflict over Yogi Bhajan's abusive behaviour, for which he will never atone, I had to take a stand. I had to stand with those who'd been abused and impacted by Yogi Bhajan's acts.

I felt I had done nothing wrong. Whereas in fact I had done nothing. Part of my shame was my passivity. 

And I realised that I AM THOSE WOMEN. I was not abused, but I've been deeply betrayed and my innocence and trust in my own integrity and the teachings harshly damaged by his behaviour. 

I realised that Uma's response, rather than being judgement, is her absolutely crystal clear and uncompromising statement for what she stands. That Yoni Shakti - The Movement should : 

Eradicate Abuse of Women in Yoga and Reclaim Yoga as a Tool for Healing and Justice

This has been a tough but precious experience for me this week. Uma and Nirlipta have generously opened their hearts to me, to listen to my feelings of betrayal (by Yogi Bhajan) and perceived judgement (by them), and we have found a place to meet and heal. I'm truly grateful. 

Through this I have found the strength to grow into even deeper integrity and to stand for what I know to be true:

Yoga is a sacred place for healing and growth and abuse of any kind will not be tolerated

Whatever gender you are or identify as, I sincerely hope that everyone in this community agrees that this is an essential premise for all spiritual or healing practice, and will sign up to become an ally of The Movement. 

You will find precious materials on the site to nurture your own awareness and share with your own communities and students to educate and support them. The more of us that stand up and speak out, the less safe the perpetrators will feel to continue shaming and abusing women and girls in yoga. 

There are over 2,000 of us in this community - let's see how many of us can raise our voices in support of this movement. I have faith in you all! 

If you are also in need of support or healing this month, I would love to invite you to join me; I have two wonderful  nurturing spaces for connection for you :

• If you need to deeply relax and heal mind and body, as well dive into the fascinating world of your brain, please sign up for our 3-hour workshop on Satuday 10th April on Nidra, Neuroplasticity, Mind & Brain here, and experience the incredible teaching, compassion and wisdom of Nirlipta himself

• And for a chance to join my year-long deep-dive coaching journey, Awakened Potential, starting in May, jump into my Deep Dive Quiz, and then sign up for a free one-hour private chat with me, to see how I can serve and support you through these times, into the next version of yourself.

As always, I am here for you, bringing as much integrity, care and love as possible to all those who I serve, and all that I do, 

Where do we go from here? Change starts within

I don't know about you but I'm still reeling from the impact of Sarah Everard's death, as well as the repercussions it, and the police response, have had on our awareness and conversation around womens' place in the world.

And straight on the back of that, we are now trying to come to terms with the anti-Asian hatred which manifested in yet another mass shooting in the US. 

These follow the #metoo and #blacklivesmatter campaigns of 2020, all with shared values at their heart - equality and respect.

Part of me is relieved and energised that we are no longer accepting these atrocities but are creating movements for awareness and change. Another part of me feels that we will just continue to cycle hopelessly from one shocking revelation to another, without achieving real revolution.

What will it take for the world to change? For real and meaningful equality to be experienced, lived and honoured between all humans.

In the big picture, on the global scale, it needs policy change, radical societal evaluation, and deep rethinking of all our interpersonal structures.

On a personal level, I'm not saying anything new, when I say it starts within. Any change that we wish to see in the world around us must begin with awareness and radical honesty and integrity within. 

Through the work that I do with people online and in the water, I see that we are very often not aligned within ourselves. We have desires for harmony, balance, respect, acknowledgement and love in our communication and relationships, personal and professional. And yet we are unaware of how few of those qualities are actually present within our communication and relationship with OURSELF. 

• How many of us criticise, diminish, judge and even abuse ourselves with our internal chatter?

• How many of us wish that we looked different, more like the picture-perfect (heavily photoshopped) images forced on us by the media?

• How many of us say damningly critical things to ourselves, that we would never dream of saying to some of our worst enemies? And on such a regular, casual level?

Behind harmony, balance, respect and acknowledgement (let alone love), lies acceptance. Before we can cultivate any of the deeper, nourishing emotional states we wish to receive and share, we must find acceptance for what is. 

My work helps people to find just that. My life, my personal journey, is all about cultivating that within myself. And doing my best to share it with whoever reaches out and crosses my path.

I know it's not easy. I'm failing every single day. But I remain conscious of always trying to do my best. Which includes being gentle with myself when I fail. 

One of the best modern teachers I have come across to guide us into acceptance is the incredible Byron Katie. If you don't know her, you should, and I strongly advise you to spend some time this week digging into her work, called The Work.

You can download her tools via her website and I find her app brilliant to get guided through sticky situations and emotions.

There is always a calm place of acceptance to be discovered beneath the mess of my reactions, emotions and resistance. And as Rumi said, that's a place where we can really meet.

Some of you have spent the past three weeks with me on my Serenity, Courage & Wisdom Challenge, which boils down to the same thing - let's focus our energy where it has an impact - ourselves - and let go of needing to control the universe and fix every wrong.

Of course if fixing some of these bigger wrongs is your passion and your calling in life, then I say 'thank you' from the bottom of my heart, and ask you to guide me and tell me what I can do to support you and those you aim to help. 

If you're doing the big work out in the world, or simply wish to work on your inner landscape to make it more loving, accepting and wholesome, later this week I will be opening up an opportunity for everyone to dive into an inner exploration of their own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health with me. It includes a fun Deep Dive Quiz, followed by a FREE one-hour Discovery Call.

Interested? Keep your eyes peeled in your inbox...

For a few lucky and committed people, it could result in a year long journey together.... 

I look forward to walking together, meeting in that field, and getting our hands dirty with this important inner work, 

Much love to you and yours,